Thai Priorities.. Thairorities?

There have been some questions raised (by me) about the exact purpose of spending hundreds and thousands (hundreds of thousands?) of Baht on foreign English teachers when you cancel their classes half the time.  Perhaps you'll want to accuse me of implementing my usual hyperbole here, but the class I will have seen the least at the end of my 16 week semester will have met 7 times, so the "half" is actually generous.  In the past, I have witnessed the school bring some pretty incredible projects to fruition (the sports day parade) and have heard of even more (the actual sports competition as well as several more academic competitions all over the north of Thailand).  Today, I got the unique chance to see yet another fantastic display of Thai patriotism.

The best way I can describe it was a concentrated and more specific version of the parade in the guise of a theatrical play.  Don't ask me what the play was about cause I still don't speak Thai, but you didn't have to understand a word to sit there slack jawed for 45 full minutes.  I would also say that maybe it's because I acted enough in High School or because I watch a lot of theater, but either way I pride myself in being able to recognize talented acting no matter what language is being spoken.  Let me tell you, these kids had "it."  They cheated to the audience!  They projected their voices (the expensive microphone system helped there) talking slowly but expressively!  They were never idle even when it wasn't their line and they stayed in character the whole time!  There were even some fairly difficult scenes, including several elaborately choreographed sword fights and death scenes with ACTUAL.  METAL.  SWORDS.  Talk about a liability risk that would never be taken in US American schools.

Basically, I just watched a professional-level performance but it wasn't just the acting which left me ogling!  The costumes, as you can imagine if you've read my parade post from several weeks ago, were unreal.  When you have a bunch of high school students in a performance maybe you cut some corners on some stuff, making sacrifices of money or time.  However, there was nothing tacky about what the student-actors wore and it was clear that all the stops had been pulled.  I don't think the queen herself would have turned up her nose to donning some of the more elegant gowns.

Furthermore, as can be expected in any Thai performance, there was traditional Thai dancing, accompanied by the stereotypical Southeast Asian tune.  However, even when the focus was on the drama in the story, the background music was gorgeous and certainly did it's part to tie the whole thing together.

Arguably the most breathtaking and unbelievable piece of this insane little puzzle were the props.  I've already mentioned that all the actors risked life and limb to bring you the clang of steel on steel during the fight scenes, but there was so much more than just that.  There were homemade beasts of burden made out of papier-mâché but strong enough to carry students and roll underneath them to give the appearance of real life.  So real was the cannon and so engrossed were the viewers that when it was pointed towards the audience, there were little screams of fear which quickly turned to giggles as we realized we were safe.  There were even scene changes with beautiful bamboo walls on wheels serving as makeshift curtains.  It was fabulous.

At first, I didn't take many pictures because I was facing the sun and quite far from the stage.  However, I moved up a little bit towards the end, including a creep behind the "stage" in order to get to the other side.  This is what I have to show...

These videos might not work... fingers crossed.

Thai Holidays

Bangkok, Thailand is one of the biggest cities in the world.  I looked it up and since it wasn't in the top 10 I didn't bother mentioning it's ranking, but do you realize how many cities there are in the whole, entire world?  The fact that it made the list at all is impressive.  Anyway, maybe you didn't know this about me but for all that I love to travel, I thrive best in the wee, off-the-beaten-path gems with a low human density (that part is important) with more nature to show than infrastructure.  So, gun to my head and only one syllable in my voice box, do I like Bangkok?  My answer would be: No.  However, when I went down for the holidays I did have an absolute blast and I'm glad I went.  Will I go back alone for shits and giggles anytime soon?  I could be allowed to use more than a syllable and I'd probably still say no, but if the Friskneys invited me it would be an "abso-freaking-lutely."

Jessie "Coolest Chick in the Land" Friskney is someone I had never met until the day after Christmas.  She and her lovely family had decided to make their first Southeast Asia trip in Thailand and it worked out perfectly for us all to meet up in the capital.  It wasn't a random encounter, she is a dear friend of my dear friend, Libby, so I was pretty much convinced that we would really hit it off, and did we ever!

I think the bottom line with my generally negative outlook on Bangkok is that tackling a mega-city like that on your own is neither fun, nor relaxing (I would say "safe" too but I would only be referring to the traffic and the cars who like to plow over trusting pedestrians like me and not other people which is what the word usually implies). The day I spent with Jessie, Darrin and Stella, however?  Was magical.

We kicked it off with a yummy breakfast at their hotel and then set out for the grand palace, which is like the Thai equivalent of the White House.  I guess a more appropriate word would be "version" because there is nothing "equal" about two places, no offense, America.  The grand palace is a must see in any trip to Thailand and any travel book or blog will tell you this.  

The trip to our destination was actually quite hilarious.  Right off the bat, we found a tuktuk driver who told us that he would take us to the palace for 100 baht.  Great!  We thought.  Not only would it be a super inexpensive drive, but they'd get to check "tuktuk ride" off their "Thailand Must Do" checklist.  We got about 2 minutes away when our driver told us he wasn't gonna take us to the palace after all.  It's not what you think!  It's was the middle of the day, we weren't about to get kidnapped... or at least not permanently.  There is a market that is better than the palace, he told us.  Right.  If Thai royalty don't want to live in this market and Thai politicians don't hold meetings of the state there, then I'm sure its a market just like any other.  We want to go to the GRAND PALACE.  Please.  We argued for a bit and then finally demanded that we be released off the side of the road.  Grumpily, our driver pulled over, although I'm not sure why he thought he had any right to be upset.  We were the ones who had been lied to.  

After Darrin and I inspected our GPSs we made a different plan to walk to the bus stop and jump on the number we were instructed to ride.  However, it soon became evident that we'd boarded on the wrong side of the street, meaning that we were being hauled off in the opposite direction.  Disembarkment number 2.   

At this point, if I had been alone, I would have been in tears.  Getting "lost" alone is not nearly as bearable as making directional mistakes with a fun-loving group of interesting people who all have their heads together for the success of the same mission.  We had kind of given up doing things the non-tourist way, however, and decided to call an uber.  (Yes!  Surprisingly they have uber in Thailand!  Who knew?)  However, after waiting 20 minutes and watching the little car on the GPS go around and around in circles in front of our eyes we cancelled it and made a Plan D.  This failure to make contact with the uber, by the way, is another thing that I despise about Bangkok; the travel infrastructure is absolutely nonsensical.  Remember Dr. Seuss' story about the south-going and north-going Zax?  They build roads all around them, which don't appear to make sense either.  Well, it seems to me that Dr. Seuss had a hand in designing the layout for the roads in Bangkok.   As amazing a writer as he was, I seriously question his ability to properly organize a city's transportation system.  Bottom line, sometimes walking gets you to where you want to go about 500000x faster than driving and it's not just the traffic; you end up having to do a million round about turns to get to a place that you can see in front of you.  It's kind of awful.

When we were waiting for our uber where the bus had dropped us, we noticed this awesome little guy in the moat behind us.  We determined that he is a water monitor.  This is what happens when you get lost and don't lose your head about it... I should remember that for future reference. 

Plan D just turned out to be a taxi.  Boring, I know, but guess what!  It FINALLY did the job and we got to where we needed to be.  

There was a little bit of a glitch getting into the compound as well because, why not?  It wasn't my first day in Thailand so I knew about covering myself for temples.  And Jessie and Stella, being experienced and well-adjusted traveled, had done their research about what woman can wear and when in Thailand as well.  My point is, none of us was particularly what you'd call "poorly prepared."  Since it was hot, the girls were wearing short sleeves, but they had brought shawls.  Their preparation was literally textbook.  I had a skirt that, yes, was shorter than my knees, however, I wore leggings under to cover them.  Literally nothing was inappropriate about any of our outfits, however, we were still directed to the clothes rental area where they charged us las perlas de la pinche virgen to rent gross, sweaty "skirts" and button up shirts.  That took a bit, but when we made it inside, our frustrating morning seemed to fade away as if it had all been one big hypothetical. 

Stella, Jessie and I with our stupid rental clothes, but stupid happy smiles on anyway.  Pay more attention to the faces, they tell the real story.

The rest of the day was filled with exploration, giant buddhas, water taxis and sky trains.  When ended up back at the hotel quite late but the family had tickets to see a Muay Thai fight and I decided to go tag along, not yet prepared to see such a perfect day come to an end.  

Next stop on my holiday adventure was Rayong to visit my XA friend, Madeline.  We were set to meet up with more English Teachers in Ko Samet (an island about an hour drive + 30 minute ferry from Madeline's house).  It was absolutely the most refreshing and fun trip and it was also great to see my friends again!

Maddy and I at our first reunion.  SO HAPPY!

New Years Eve in Ko Samet.  Madeline took control of my makeover as if I were a doll.  

Everyone should ring the new year in with a puppy.  It's just common sense.

Clearly unhappy to be leaving.  Why am I wearing a lifejacket?  I AM ONE.

I've been back a school now for a couple of weeks.  Let's just say, it's hard to take it seriously anymore when 1. classes get cancelled left and right and all of our schedules are completely screwed and 2. it doesn't seem like anyone cares that you're there or not and 3. you just got back from a great, fun adventure with friends on an island.  Maybe my feelings will change in the next 5 weeks (yea, that's ALL that is left! Yikes!).  I'll let you know.

I hope 2017 is not a disappointment.  You know what I'm talking about, 2016!

Random Pre-Holiday Photos (Forgive me for Kicking Chronology to the Curb)

A few weekends ago we went to this Buddhist theme park without the rides.  Amazingly bizarre styled structures that make for some great and weird pictures!

Every time I see these giant statues of monks (and these here could rival most "giant Buddhas") I think about the article I once read about monks (in Nepal?  India?  Not Thailand I know that much) who had a competition to see who was the most humble.  The first test must have been, "Will you enter this competition?" and those who said, "Oh heck yeah!" were immediately eliminated!  Anyway, I feel like you're not supposed to make giant, golden statues of people who live their entire existence avoiding the spotlight and attention... but what do I know?

This temple is absolutely one of the most stunning pieces of art that I have ever seen in my life.  I was left breathless just walking though it.  It's called the White Temple and if ever there was a Thailand "must see" it's this one!

What makes this temple so fabulous is that it's 'not exquisite and humbly meditative.  It's freaking scary.  These are the dead souls trying to claw their way up and out of their purgatorial existence.  You have to walk over them to get into the temple, no big deal.

From this distance, I just suspected intricate and elaborate carvings of shapes and maybe some Buddhas or your average humanoid monkey.  I had no idea I was entering hell itself.  Who knew the underworld was so white and clean?

Singha Park

I almost irrationally stole this dog.  He has a mangled foot and I named him "Trex" (one word).  However, his soft, well groomed fur and fat little tummy led me to believe that although he maybe he did spend a good bit of time on the streets during the day, he was actually probably loved.

This photo is actually quite interesting and much cooler than it looks.  This is me at the apex of 3 countries at once.  I've never been straddling as many as three whole nations before!  Behind me is Laos and Myanmar, while I'm technically in Thailand! Too cool.