That's a Goodbye for Now

There are some of you who know by now that this will be my last travel blog for a little while.  Not only am I returning to the states, but I plan on staying there for a little while.  Thailand will be the last country on my "working abroad world tour."  That being said, many will ask, "Why now?"  Not only has Thailand treated me very well (you know you're in heaven when you have Thai massage parlors and cheap lattes on every street corner), but let's just say the situation in the states isn't really a proud one to return to.  You'd think, carrot and stick keeping this girl in Southeast Asia?  She'll never leave.  The truth is, that apart from just missing my freaking family (I'll be returning almost 3 years to the day since I left for Mexico in 2014) I feel a call to come "home" because of, not in spite of, the current climate.  That stick is made of peppermint.

I don't like peppermint.  I'm a spearmint kinda girl.  Blue vs green gum and I always go with green.  Every, single, time.  This is as far as I can take this analogy, but basically the bottom line is that, yeah I may not agree with what is happening in the country whose name is proudly etched into my passport, but that is precisely why I have to be there.  How do I expect my complaints to be taken seriously and my voice to be heard when they're calling weakly from the other side of the planet?  Who am I to just say, "This isn't the way things are supposed to be" and then just dip out when I could, arguably, help make the most difference?

Another way that I look at it is if someone I loved got sick, maybe I wouldn't be able to cure them, but I sure as hell would want to be there for them in any way that I could.  If that meant driving them to doctor's appointments or entertaining them, I would actively insert myself in their lives in a way that would bring them closer to recovery.  My country's got cancer and I'm gonna hold it's hand through chemo therapy and wig shopping.

There are people who don't believe their vote counts.  Often (maybe always) I think I might be one of them, especially after November even before there were accusations of election tampering.  Even my weird alternative method of influencing Presidential elections (drawing a portrait of the candidate I want to lose, thereby jinxing the one I want into winning) didn't work this time.  Maybe they're (we're) right.  But at the very least, with our vote, we buy our right to complain and make a stand.  That is how I kind of look at my ex-patriotism (the definition of this word being "the leaving of ones country to live abroad" NOT "the hatred of ones native land"; it took me many years to learn what that really meant).  Exercising my extremely privileged ability to flit about the earth is kind of like washing my hands of the States and maybe it's even like saying I agree with the way things are back "home."

Maybe none of that ^ is actually true.  Let's be honest, I've missed too many Irvington Halloween parties at this point, I'd probably be coming back no matter who won the election.  However, now I just feel the need to explain myself a bit.  Maybe that's not necessary, I know the majority of you are return readers and followed me while I was in Mexico, you could, therefore, not possibly be supporting the building of a racist monument-Berlin wall copycat.  You couldn't possibly.  Nevertheless, I feel the urge to share, perhaps to have you help keep me accountable for these promises that I'm making.

Although I prematurely alluded to this in my last blog post, consider this an official declaration: At the end of April, I will be attending a class that will certify me to medically interpret for Spanish-speaking immigrants in the US.  I hope that by focusing my job search on working with this population of people, I will be one more voice saying, "Not only is the US a place that welcomes immigrants, but there are people here who are prepared to love you no matter where you were born."  At this point in my life, I have received medical attention in my second language and while it was slightly frightening I spoke it well enough not to be overwhelmed entirely.  However, as you know from my last post I have also tried to receive medical attention here in Thailand where my language ability goes as far as to be able to order noodles in a restaurant.  Therefore, I appreciate the wash of relief that comes with encountering someone with a smile who speaks your language and is willing to make sure your health is their top priority.  I want to be responsible for that feeling in someone someday.

There is so much that I have to be thankful to Thailand for.  Pushing me out of my comport zone and teaching me the value of being able to entertain myself are just the beginning.  Living outside of the CZ and being alone while doing it make you able to rely on yourself even more which is the most important thing.  Is it cliche to say that I learned a lot about myself?  I don't care if it is because in this case it would also be extremely true.  The other thing that I have to say for myself is that I'm just happy.  Thailand helped me find an inner peace.  Do I expect it to be a forever tenant in my heart?  Perhaps not, but I think it will be easier to summon it up in the future.

This may be the end of working abroad for the moment, but I don't intend to stop traveling EVER and I'd also like to keep blogging.

Ann and I at the middle school English camp

One last day of board game playing with my favorite Mathayom 6 students.

Pretty sad to say goodbye to this one.

Me and my Pad Thai ladies again.  I went to say, "Goodbye" and they not only told me that they loved me, they gave me my last plate of pad thai for free.  We all shared a few tears and I promised to visit someday.

These are my landlords!

Last weekend in Thailand, I spent in Bangkok with some friends.  We went to a magical land called "True Love: Neverland."  It is a Husky Cafe.  It was bizarre.  I'm not gonna lie and I was a little disappointed.  The dogs were basically like wild animals.  I felt like I was in one of those gross tiger parks in Chiang Mai where tourists get their pictures taken with giant, drugged cats.  The owners were a little off too, they told me not to let the dogs lick my face because then, and I quote, "they will bite my face."  I may not have my own dog (yet!) but I'm pretty sure that when licking happens, it's not actually a sign of aggression.  Also, the other patrons were acting as if they had literally never seen a dog before.  People be poaching.  We would be sitting there with a dog (a very big feat since the dogs wanted little to do with the humans) and someone would appear to push us out of the way so that they could get in their selfies.  Oh well, we did see some cool dogs and ate some ice cream cake.

We were also given these weird elf-booties to wear.  These are mine, Madeline, Ellie's feet.  We're adorable. 

Also this is not a husky.  There were also two Australian Shepards that the owners tried to pass off as huskies.  I love Aussies (shout out to CEWDY- miss you) but I feel like it's weird to not acknowledge that they are out of place in a pack of huskies.  Just call it a "Dog Cafe!"  I would still have gone! 

You literally can't see the temple thing behind us but it doesn't matter.  This is mine and Madeline's last picture together.  Luckily, we realized that we live closer in the states than we did in Thailand so I'm sure we'll see a lot of each other.

SO MUCH STUFF.  But as of yet, I think I'm gonna get it all home!