Another Note about Linguiphilia

Today, among other things, I would like to talk about language.  Maybe you all are groaning and thinking, "What ELSE is new?  Can't this girl think of anything else to talk about?  Where are all the elephants we were promised?  Must we sit through this yet again?" (the answer to the last one, by the way, is "absolutely not," I'm just flattered that my aunt thinks of me as one of her favorite writers, I don't care if anyone else reads my blog ever again).  However, assuming you've read enough of my stuff to be irked by "another blog about languages," you should know that languages really get me going.  Half of what I do as a traveler is marvel at and discover the wonders of cross-cultural communications.  So, yes, I'm about to geek out for a minute.  Consider yourselves properly warned.

I just had an entire conversation with ANOTHER random little old Thai lady.  There seems to be no end to these old biddies coming out of the woodwork and becoming fascinated with me; tottering over to thoroughly embarrass me, although I do greatly prefer them to the toothless old men who say the one word they know in English-"Beautiful"- and then lick their lips.  Once again I understood none of what she said and she understood none of what I said (even when I was "speaking Thai").  However, this time no matter how lost we were, we laughed and playfully batted each other's shoulders all the same as if we were long lost college roommates who had gone decades without sharing the same air.  This time, I didn't even tell her I spoke Thai nid noi.  Remember how I had decided to never make that mistake again?  It didn't matter that I was so very clearly out of my depth; she just kept jabbering.  I said, "Ka" every once in a while and nodded a lot.  When she paused, I told her what I did know how to say whether it's the information she asked for or not.  Occasionally I glanced over for support from the lady making my som tam, but the only thing she could help me tell the tiny octogenarian was that I was a teacher.  I offered the "Piriyalai School" part myself and the flicker of recognition and acknowledgment in her was eyes was enough to keep me there misunderstanding her much longer than I normally would have.

This time, when I started to feel super uncomfortable and idiotic, I didn't run away.  I opened myself up a little bit for a bit of learning; something besides, "Jesi Friedly, you may as well just give up on any non-Romance or creole-Romance languages."  If I'm honest that thought did occur to me as well, but what I learned that was actually worthwhile was something I've probably already known for a while, but just had never bothered to verbalize or write down.  Basically, what I learned was that I have never been in this situation before.  "This situation" being struggling through a language that I have 0 prior knowledge of.  Going to Spain as a snot-nosed 16-year-old was not the same as this.  It was different for so many obvious reasons, but what I never cared to admit at the time or since was that I went to Spain I knew a lot more Spanish than I thought.  I just had no confidence to go out and try and use it, which gravely stunted acquisition at the time.  It is certainly safe to say that the majority of Americans have more knowledge of the Spanish language than they realize.  I knew the basics (amigo/a, ensalada, zanahoria, gracias etc) like anyone else, I just had no idea of sentence structure and my accent, while atrocious I'm sure, was mercilessly understandable.  Although, the brutality of trying to come up with a way to communicate the word "suitcase" (maleta / equipaje) to my host mother is, for whatever, a stronger memory to me than the first time I walked into my first Spanish cathedral, I also knew so many more words coming in than I appreciated at the time.

Here, in Phrae Thailand, I could try saying the few words I have learned along the way, but saying them is not enough.  You have to say them right or you're not saying them at all- tones, and all that.  Besides, this is the first time I've heard any of these words.  I didn't come in with a lifetime of subliminal exposure to a sparse, weak version of the word I'm now living in.  Even a 3-month Peace Corps training of the language would have set me up better, although at the time I'll admit I was very loth to endorse the Spanish training we got in Mexico.  I don't even know how to order in Thai.  I say, "Sawatdee ka" and then my mouth just pauses hanging open.  Literally.  When people smile and are patient (they almost always are), I finally wrack up the nerve to squish my eyebrows together so they know I'm really concentrating hard, and spit out something that I know is technically correct but may not actually be comprehensive.

The other realization that I had today was the really ground-breaking one, and that is that... I don't care.  I mean to say, it doesn't matter how new this all is or how stupid I look floundering through it.  I don't care that I make a complete fool out of myself every time I go out into the world.  I don't get flustered and run like you would expect of someone whose ignorance might be borderline annoying.  I don't feel bad or guilty.  Sometimes I even push on way past when I should and sometimes I just laugh along with them (it's not being laughed at if you join in, right?).  Never do I feel judged, or looked at in any way short of admiration for merely trying (albeit failing spectacularly).

Everyone should experience this.  I'm not saying that throwing myself into a myriad of fail-is-the-only-outcome scenarios has led me to get over all fear of trying; It's hard to get out sometimes still, I just have yet to had a bad experience when I do.  Instead, I just realize that spectacularly sucking at something that is hard is not as horrible as you'd think.  I read an article once about this guy who training himself to not be afraid of rejection.  He made it his goal to be rejected somehow by someone every single day; asking a stranger for a ride, challenging the rando on the bus next to him to a rock, paper, scissor duel, etc.  After a while, he didn't fear it when he set out to get things for real, making the answer "no" or a strange look not the very worse thing that could happen to him.  I'm nowhere near this zen place when it matters, but it seems, that I have learned a little bit about turning awkward situations of tragic misunderstanding in my favor.  Either that, or Thailand just makes you feel good no matter how hard you crash and burn.  The latter could explain away everything I just postulated but... you made it this long on the hamster wheel in my brain, would it kill you to just humor me?

Just Say "No"

Do you speak Thai?

No.  Just NO.  Not nid noi, not "I try" just no.  Sometimes you get cocky.  You think, "I can tell someone 'Hello,' I can thank someone for bringing me my food, I can even ask someone's name and tell them mine."  Well that, my friends, is not being trilingual.  So, the next time someone asks me, "Kuhn puua Thai mai ka/krap?" (Or whatever that is in Thai) I'm just going to look them in the eye and say, "Mai puua" because if I don't, some little old lady may come over to me and start talking a mile a minute and look at me like I'm verbally assaulting her instead of what I'm really doing which is staring blank-faced and scared back at her.

I have just finished my first week of teaching English in Thailand!  This is a huge feat.  Although we've been groomed and prepped and trained and orientated for over a month, I never really thought the day would come when I would have not only my own school but my own students.  It's humbling and down right beautiful to say the least.

On Wednesday, the entirety of Piriyalai School performed a ceremony for king.  When I say a "ceremony," please picture Drumline with Nick Cannon; a field of marching people dressed in one of two colors in order for the inspirational words and adorable shapes to pop a little for the birds flying over.  We were told to wear black and I merely assumed that it was just a continuation of the world of mourning that I have been living in.  Little did I know that I was to be apart of the body spelling.  You know, for the drone cameras.

I'm not kidding.  There was a moment when all the kids were sitting on the pavement in front of a giant stage (complete with 30 x 50 foot painting of the king) and then all of a sudden they had moved to the soccer field.  I really didn't know what was going on until all the teachers (identifiable by our black attire) were lined up and parading through a small maze of students (the ones dressed in white).  I felt like I was reenacting a scene from Narnia- the one where Aslan (the late king of King Bhumibal) has died (must there be any more obvious parallels?) and all the animals gather and line up like they're loading onto the ark.  There was no apparent rhyme or reason to the lines, but I think they probably got some good pictures out of it.

After a week of teaching here are some things I have learned...

1. When you have 800 students, some of them are going to suck.  That is just the way it is.  But, the good news is, when you have almost a thousand students a lot of them won't suck!  Thailand is known for its kind, smiley citizens, but a high school student is a high school student is a high school student.  It doesn't matter where they come from, the biology is the same everywhere.  Of my 20 classes (I've only seen 18 because we started on Tuesday), there were some doozies, but it doesn't matter.  I can still technically do my job even when no one is listening to me or when they are laughing at me for some unknown reason.

2.  Ticky tac is not a teacher's friend.  You remember this stuff?  Whether you are a teacher or not, I'm sure you've used it or seen it in the past.  It is either sky blue or white and it's for posting pictures on your "Wall of Shame" if you were one of those cool college kids.  It's just a sticky puddy that, as an English teacher in Thailand, I unfortunately have to use daily to put the picture aids on the whiteboard.  Basically, I waste at least 10% of my class trying to unstick the shit from the inside of my bag or to pinch of a small piece without the whole clump tagging along in a stringy, nasty mess.  I hate it and I can't understand why there hasn't been a more convenient option invented for us.  How many people have to complain about this crap before the great minds of the world provide an alternative?  I can't be the only person who suffers from ticky tac tantrums.

3.  Thai kids don't like frisbees.  Well, I hope that's not entirely true, but from what I've seen, and maybe it's the novelty aspect, not only do my students dislike frisbees, they downright fear them.  For introductions this week, I had each of my classes get in a circle and throw the frisbee around, introducing themselves to me as they went.  This was theoretically meant for me to be able to take attendance in a fun way, but also for them to get up and play before we got down to brass tacks.  What ended up happening however, was that every time the disc was thrown (the only one I brought BTW) the students on the recieving end went into a tailspin panic.  Very few of them tried to catch it, choosing instead to either toss up their hands protectively or physically turn away.  This, clearly, resulted in many, many Thai teenagers getting beaned in the face.  I wish I could say that I felt bad but, COME ON! You know what is going on, so pay attention!  Too harsh?  It's like that T shirt though that says, "Sometimes I wonder, 'Why is that frisbee getting bigger?' and then it hits me."

4. To the same degree that Thai kids hate frisbees, they love the "Like/Don't Like" game.  Two of my vocabulary concepts for the introduction week were "like" and "don't like," obviously represented by the Facebook thumbs up and down.  To drive the point home, I made one side of the room the like side and the other the don't like side.  I then asked, "Do you like ______?" using vocabulary that they should already know, and then they had to move themselves to the side that corresponded with how they felt.  I then made them say it out loud as a group, "I like ______" / "I don't like ______."  The key to this game, is to offer really controversial options so the students have no other choice but to move from side to side.  The way to do this is ask, "Do you like Justin Bieber?" And then "Do you like Thailand?" in that order.  Here's why: the grand majority of the students at my school are boys (lucky me) and apart from the lady boys (this is a common, loving, non-offensive, totally acceptable sexuality positive term for gay men in Thailand), none of them want to be caught dead saying that they like Justin Bieber so they all end up on the "don't like" side.  However, not a single person in the entire country of Thailand would ever say that they didn't like Thailand itself (along the same lines as the Lése-majesté law) so asking that question next forces all of the students back to the "like" side.  It may be a cruel little trick to get them to bend to my will but sometimes my last question is "Do you like Enlgish class?" so they get me back.

5.  Thai students all have English nicknames.  Most of them are just random English words like Boss, Couch, Donut, First, Boat, Mint, but when they tell me I think I'm hearing Thai and try to pronounce it just like them and that just makes them laugh their butts off.  If 5 whole minutes of my class is spent fighting with the ticky tac another 5 minutes is spent waiting for the students to stop laughing at me.  The pattern is always the same-
Me: What. Is. Your. Nick. Name?
Student: Fjidoagnfudiasng.
Me: Ok. Fjidoagnfudiasng.
All students: Laugh*
Student: M-I-N-T
Me: ...What?
My favorite nickname so far is "Garfield."

6.  I am going to have to get used to being "waied" by all of the students all day long.  Everywhere I go I hear, "Hello, Teacher!" and I turn to see little faces half hidden by praying hands.  It's kind of sweet though.

7.  Settlers of Catan knows no world boundaries.  I have now played this game in 4 countries and 2 continents and it has become a bucket list item to increase these statistics.  Yesterday, a student came into our office mere minutes before I had to leave and teach a class, asking us if we wanted to play a game.  I was too taken aback and slightly confused to totally grasp the meaning of his request, but when I came back from my class, my entire world had realigned itself.  They were playing Catan!  I sat with them for over an hour (being Mathayom 6 students- equivalent to our "seniors" they have several open periods) and then when we finished, the leader-kid, Tam (I think), pulled out "The 2013 Edition of Clue."  Apart from having a blast playing familiar games that I love, I felt like a super awesome English teacher because not only was I interacting with students outside of the classroom (didn't matter that they weren't my students), but they spoke English about 82% of the time.  I have always fully supported the teaching of board games in a foreign language as a wonderful gauge of one's grasp of said language and these kids really impressed me.  

So Tam, the kid on the right, mostly covered by my co-English teacher's hand, said that he got the game online (he showed me the website) and that he really wants to play SPLENDOR (I swear I couldn't make this stuff up!!!!)  but he has to save up for it.  I'm thinking... first paycheck purchase?!?!  Oh hecky yea.

Look at the Thai letters on the card!  Are you freaking out as much as I am? Or is this another one of those weird things only a linguaphile would appreciate?

Needless to say, school is teaching me a lot.  I'm ok with gaining more knowledge than I'm imparting to be honest, it's Peace Corps all over again, but I do hope that I'm making some difference, obviously.  It's clearly too early to tell!

Today, we went exploring around Phrae.  What had started out just being a city with a mediocre apartment complex, a couple stores, cafe and school, has become a really magically place to live in only a few hours!  All we had to do was take a left instead of our normal right.  I'm not kidding, it was that easy. 

To be honest, although we found a public pool which we will surely be visiting soon, the best part of the day was the hour long conversation we had with a Buddhist monk.  

Allow me to set the stage...I hope I have established already just how abundant the Buddhist temples are in Thailand, and although Phrae comes off as this sleepy, boring place, as I said before, all you need to do is "make a left" to unearth some real gems.  Usually, the big temples have a compound that you enter before the temple itself.  These compounds are usually complete with many shrines as well as the main event.  I wasn't dressed for a temple today.  I unabashedly wore shorts because, well, IT'S HOT HERE, OKAAAAAY?!!?  So I knew going into this adventure that I was sacrificing any opportunity we might encounter to visit a Buddha.  When we came to one of these compound areas, however, I thought, I can just go into that part, surely.  We were wandering around in the open area when we were beckoned into a closed in temple area.  I quickly declined, gesturing to my offensively bare legs, but my concerns were immediately waved off by, Udong, an awesome monk with awesome English skills.

And so began a truly enlightening (pun not intended, I promise!) discussion about Buddhism in which I teared up, felt moved, and promptly made an internal decision to convert (although according to Amy I've always been Buddhist anyway).  

Udong started off by asking us what we knew about Buddhism.  He let us embarrass ourselves for a few seconds before diving in.  He talked about how in our world we all know how to take care of our bodies (eating right and doing exercise aren't really big secrets) but Buddhists believe it is just as important to take care of our minds and this is achieved through meditation, among other things.  It seems obvious, but I think mental health is not as sexy a concept as physical health in our world.  We were taught about the 4 Noble Truths which I still don't totally understand but intend to learn more about.  

What made my heart migrate to my throat was when Udong told us what Buddhists thought of the past, present, and future.  Basically, 2 of the 3 are abstract concepts that literally don't exist.  One guess which of the 3 is the only one that matters.  It was me and my co-teacher there with Udong, but when he got to this part of our Buddhism training, I felt like he spoke directly to me.  As he spoke, I had a startling realization that the exact opposite could be true.  Past and future could actually be the only ones that were real too, like the present so quickly becomes past that it can't really exist, right?  Clearly though, I prefer to accept the former option.  

Also while we sat beneath a giant Buddha statue, next to, but not too close to an orange-clad bald man, I realized that the conversation we were having could be considered evangelism.  But somehow, Buddhism has never seemed religiony to me and the more I learned about it the more I began to see how correct I'd been.  Sometimes, "religion" has a strict and exclusive connotation, but Buddhism is more about spirituality.  Everyone from any walk of life and, yes, any religion should hope to aspire to the universal kindness that the Buddhists do (kindness not just to people but to animals too, Udong told us) and the strife for peace of mind and healthy control of emotions and problem-solving skills.

Before we left, Udong introduced us to a friend of his who is a Thai English teacher at another high school.  He invited all three of us to come to a meditation ceremony next Sunday.  I can't express how overcome with relief and gratitude and love I felt at being included and accepted by this person today.  It totally and completely made my week.  

Me, my co-teacher Leoni, and Koin, the English teacher Udong introduced us to.

Photo Blog (Accompaniment for "Hua Hin to Bangkok to... Phrae?")

Imogen and Dannika eating thier Mac n Cheese burger and Chickpea Burgers in the mall!!!! HEART

We went out.  Not really recommended in our current state of mourning but, bars have got to stay open too.  This is me, Dom and Brittney. 

Me and Madeline.

Every weekend in Hua Hin there is a market called "Cicada." It is insane.  The booths are endless and the food is incredible.  This is basically a banana fritter fried donut thing with chocolate and sugar.  40 baht.  I'm convinced I'm gonna hit ideal weight in Thailand...

First day of camp, we had Prattom (elementary kiddos).  Everyone loves selfies in Thailand (didn't I already say that I belong here??) 

There is this weird peace sign / tongue thing that happens in most of the Prattom selfies.  I know it doesn't mean what it looks like it means but there is something still pretty hysterical about it.  The other day I saw a guy with a black shirt that had white writing that said, "Fuck Cancer." Well... that's one way to put it, but I was fairly sure he was repping the black harder than he was the message and it's the same with these kids.    

"D" is for... adorable!  I can't even spell when there are Kindies involved.  Part of me wishes I had these guys to play with every day... and then I remember...

Needless to say, they loved me.  This is not the face of a little girl who was forced to be in a picture with me, just so you know. 

Doh.

Thai babies- the sweetest, cutest little monsters in the world.   

Oh, they will remember D, E, and F if it's the last thing I teach them... which it is.

Back story.  This child is hugging me, I am merely returning the affection.  Before we set out to give our lessons, there was a daily assembly.  I noticed that there was a line of kindergarteners (noticeable by their blue and red uniforms) just sobbing after their parents had abandoned them.  I couldn't handle it, I went over to "talk" to them and give them high fives and hugs and try to convince them to stop breaking my heart.  This little boy was one of the ones I tried to comfort and when I came into his class to teach, he recognized me and ran over to latch onto me.  

Here were are again.  He can't let go of me and he's convinced all of the other little babies that I'm a huggable adult.

It's hard to see here, but this little girl reminded me of G.  There was just something about the way she spoke and smiled that made me think of my little couslet.

Here is a picture of me with the random, creepy tiger at the school in Hua Hin!

It's AH!!!!! After our buffet, we demanded that we get a picture with Ah.  At first, however, she misunderstood our pantomimes a little bit.  When we gestured photo taking with our phones, she laughed, nodded, and took our phones as if SHE would be the photographer.  I actually think she did it on purpose though because as soon as we better explained the situation, she and her daughter both tried to refuse us saying, "I shy!"  Not getting off THAT easy, missies! 

What photo edition post would be complete without a picture of me and a random street animal?  This little kitty was super soft and super loved.  It even had a collar.  It loves me back, I assure you.

Hua Hin to Bangkok to... Phrae?

Last week of TESOL training is decidedly the most stressful and jam-packed.  What do you need when you have assignments due every night, a giant final exam and 2 days of teaching for the first time?  For someone to just get it.

After a morning of 4 back to back kindergarten classes last Wednesday, I stumbled over to our favorite house-restaurant close to school and I got just what I needed.  I may have already mentioned that it is far more normal for people to eat out in Thailand than it is for them to cook a meal in their homes.  It is so commonplace that most restaurants (and there are dozens on each block) just look like the downstairs of someone's home.  "The Green Place" (our name for it) is one of those such establishments.  The owner, Ah, and her family have been nothing but wonderful to all of us furongs since the day we first bombarded them with all of our service at one time.  Some of us have gotten really close with Ah, even to the point of learning Thai with her and talking about our upcoming jobs.

Anyway, I think we were all feeling pretty beat and just overwhelmed when about 30-40 or us showed up, as usual, to eat at Ah's.  When we arrived, we were greeted with an entire table filled with already prepared food.  There was sticky rice and mangoes, bananas and lychee fruits, fried rice, egg rolls, cashew chicken, morning glory (a delicious vegetable meal), vegetable stir fry... and she and her husband and daughter were still going at their street kitchen.  She told us, "This is for you!  Because you're leaving tomorrow!  Thank you for coming to eat here."

She didn't charge us a cent.

Talk about a nice farewell.  The organization that we paid money to didn't even do that well!  

The next day, which was our actual last day, she gripped my arm and with legitimate tears brimming in her eyes she said, "I love you.  Come back to visit."  I'm not ashamed to say that I broke down bawling.  Immediately.  It was like a switch was flipped and every emotion I'd ever suppressed in the last month fell on my head at once.  This stranger loved me and I although I had known her only a week or two and we'd only shared a few broken conversations in our non-native languages and about a million smiles and laughs, I loved her back.  How crazy is that?  Loving isn't that complicated after all.  She hugged me and we both laughed at how ridiculously sentimental we were being.  I tried to pull it together on the walk back to school but it definitely took me several blocks.

Teaching at camp was a lot of fun but it was very exhausting.  They told us it was not a fair representation of what we would be faced with at our placements because, for one, I won't even b teaching Prattom (grade school) or Aunubon (kindies), but more importantly because at camp we are the "substitute teachers" so the kids know that they can get away with a lot more with us one the one day that they see us.  I hope, that the fun part carries over though.

And when will I be able to tell you about my own students and my first "real" teaching experiences? you ask.  Well, as of 430 this morning I am "home" and I will go into school on Tuesday.  Tomorrow is Monday and we will head over just to check everything out.  We will even meet our first Thai teacher (this is a big deal because the Thai teachers are going to be our best friends and first points of contact here).  

There was a slight change in plans however.  Over 2 weeks ago, we were given our placement information.  This means, we were told where we were going, who else was going with us, what grade levels we would be teaching, and even a little bit about the accommodation options we could expect.  Needless to say, although I was pretty pumped about my placement, I'm glad I didn't waste a blog entry on elaborating on it to all of you great folks, since 2 days ago they told me I wouldn't go to the Northeast (Esan) after all.  It's up north for me in Phrae Providence, Thailand!  Which, to be honest, is the best that it could be.  I got off the bus this morning (after a 9 hour trip) and I wasn't sweating bullets.  I certainly wouldn't go as far as to say that I was cold (LORD knows, I'm not in Indiana), but maybe I would say that I wasn't melting.  The lady who came to get us asked me if I was cold, "Nao?" she asked and even though I'd never heard the word before, I could tell by the way she was pretending to shiver and rub her arms what she was trying to ask me.  I laughed and told her, "Mai nao!  Chan chawp!"

Let me back up a little first though.  We "graduated" from XploreAsia on Thursday, which could have meant that I did as well on the test as I thought I did... or it could have just meant that class participation and lesson planning were more heavily weighted than everything else combined and almost everyone passes anyway.  From there, we (6 or us from Blue group and 4 from other groups) literally went straight to Bangkok for yet another orientation with our new agents.  For those of you keeping track, that is the 3rd agent I have dealt with on my journey to the Thai classroom.  Greenheart -> XploreAsia -> now, Mediakids.  Maybe it was because my orientation with MediaKids was only a day and a half so I had no time to get grouchy with them (although changing my placement was a bit of a shock), maybe it was because they fed us, maybe it was because they paid for our transportation to Bangkok from Hua Hin, maybe it was because the staff is so outgoing and sweet, but whatever the reason, I feel like I've finally found my final fit as a MediaKid.  I feel very confident with the type of support I am going to receive with them.  Already, our consultant has set us up with everything and I think the rest will be smooth sailing.  Only time will tell if my gratitude is well-placed, but something tells me I'm in the right place.

While on the topic of "good feelings" let me just say that my first nine hours in Phrae have been wonderful.  There are 2 giant temples within walking distance and I found myself a nice little internet cafe to get some work done (I'm supposed to be making lesson plans instead of writing about my life haha).  However, I was starting to worry that me and the other XploreAsia alumna that I came with would be the only English speakers besides the kids we taught.  Everyone from the landlady who is very sweet and let me wash and dry my clothes for only 30 baht, to the shop owner who sold me a black skirt (only my second and that's all I can wear to school... oops), to the 7-Eleven attendants have only been able to rattle off a string of Thai at me.  When I smile and laugh they do too so it's ok, but I had a moment when I was curious whether I'd ever hold an entire conversation in English with anyone beside my other English teacher friend. 

That was until I walked into a place that said (in English) "Breakfast, Coffee, Café, Souvenirs & Gallery."  That's the place for me, I thought!  I walked in and started to make my way to the cashier when I heard a quiet, "Hello..." There, right before my eyes was a table filled with English teachers just like me!  Five Americans and a Canadian!  I was floored.  We chatted for a few minutes and then they headed out.  I even got invited to take a trip with a couple of them next weekend!  Part of my genuinely feels like I'm cheating a little.  I wanted to come to a rural place, right?  I wanted to try to do this on my own and not depend on anyone, right?  I wanted to force myself to learn Thai and get totally immersed in the Thai culture, right?  However, they aren't at my school and having English-speaking friends will not prevent me from also making Thai friends.  I'm just going to keep embarrassingly trying to speak Thai and waiing my butt off everywhere. 

Wearing White to a Wedding or Equally Upsetting Faux Pas in Thailand

Whether you are starting your first day of kindergarten or at a new job or a new life in a new country, there is always a chance you won't fit in.  Let's just be real here, you could go and you could, for no apparent fault of your own, be totally and completely shunned.  Maybe this could take the form of not getting shared crayons or your coworkers make their weekend plans all around your head while never actually turning to acknowledge that you might be sad and lonely and totally up for a drink.  Maybe you try to ask a random person on the street in your sunniest face and best Spanish where to find the closest laundromat and you are labeled a lazy fakester to your face.

The opposite can happen too, of course.  You could rule the school from day one; the other kids coloring you a rainbow paper- crown made with sparkles.  You could really fix the copier on the second day, amazing your entire office and ingratiating yourself to the whole floor.  Or, you could walk the streets in your best mourning gear (feeling pretty grouchy about wearing black in 106 degree heat) and your "hot and bothered scowl" (can I make HBS counterpart to RBF?) could come off as just the normal expression to wear as the member of an orphaned nation and you could get thumbs up and gestures to aforementioned clothes.

If reading between the lines isn't your strong suit, don't feel bad!  Let me put it this way- I am not doing too badly in Thailand.

Someone asked me this morning what my favorite part is, and although I wrote already about my top 8 "favorite" things at the time, I had a hard time answering at first.  My answer, in hindsight, was kind of lame.  I think I said something about how I've never experienced a culture like this.  Preconceived notions come with the traveling territory, but I guess my mental image of Thailand pre-Thailand just didn't come anywhere close to Thailand.

Like I said, lame answer.  But in some respects, it implies a bigger, more comprehensive response.  For example, I always try to be hyper-aware everywhere I go (literally from walking around in downtown Indianapolis to trekking through the jungles of Chiapas) making sure that I don't get stuck in any uncomfortable situation.  This hasn't changed here of course, but I feel less of a need to be on edge, and it's only been 3 weeks.

I'm fully aware that in a couple weeks we could be looking back at this post as the beginning of some serious troubles.  We could be saying, "WELL, Jesi.  Maybe you shouldn't have gotten so cocky, so early on and then you wouldn't have gotten in such and such jam."  Obviously I don't want that to happen, but what's more is I really doubt it will.  For one thing, feeling comfortable is not the same as lowering my guard which I don't plan on doing.  However, the ease with which I feel I can encounter and interact with Thai strangers on a day to day basis, plays a big part in my general outlook on the country and therefore my experience visiting.

Everyone smiles in Thailand.  Yes, we were told that being smiled at doesn't mean that you are necessarily being ceded to or that you're even in the right, but it's just so much more pleasant dealing with people who look happy to see you (whether they are or not).  This is a serious mind-control tactic, or it could be if Thais had a malicious bone in their bodies.

The other day, I was on a sawngtow and we were briefly stopped in traffic.  An elderly lady from the street halted her daily routine of setting up the exterior of her nail salon, to move towards the tall truck I was riding in with a smile on her face.  She waved her arms so frantically I worried that my bag had fallen off behind us, or my wardrobe had malfunctioned in some unflattering, and irresolvable way.  When she got within ear shot, however, all she yelled was, "Where you from?!"

My post title references seeing a woman today pop out in the crowd of her black and white dressed countryman wearing a red shirt.  I knew I was on my way to becoming a proper honorary Thai when I realized how offended I was by it.  At first I think I was just miffed that I was caught being the chump in "drab" clothes when I yards of red at home begging to be worn.  Then I realized, no.  We were told that red was the rudest color to wear and we were told why.  I wasn't only jealous of her brazen confidence to wear whatever she wanted despite everything going on around her, I was offended as a willing member of a community that frowned on that type of disregard for all this mourning business.  I'm becoming a collectivist after all.   Goodbye Individualistic America!

In preparation for the upcoming week of Final Exams and Final projects and camp, I went to the mall.  That seems like unrelated but one thing about this course is that there is a lot of teacher-preparation, which means spending a lot of money on school supplies.  We took public transportation and made it in a jiff and then, 2 hours after we got in, we left in the EXACT SAME sawngtow with the EXACT SAME driver (evident by the bumper sticker that read, "Gay").  It was bizarre, he must have taken the loop once or maybe even twice before he made his way back to us and there are probably hundreds of drivers on the route in a given day and the odds were pretty bad that we'd see the same one back to back.  Just a weird little moment of the day.

While on that sawngtow though, we ran into a British ex-pat who had been living in Thailand for 7 years.  His is a very common story; did international business for a number of years that led him to discover Thailand and retired and moved there and never left.  It makes you wonder though...

That's all for now.  Big exam next Monday- wish me luck!

Hua Hin, you're no match for Compass Girl (Taking suggestions for superhero name)

After a morning of lesson-giving practice, half of my group made our own way back from school to the hotel.  This was a significant moment because it meant that I am able to navigate through certain parts of Hua Hin.  Learning a new city is always a milestone that I doubt ever being able to reach, but somehow two weeks after arriving and I can do it!  It's a great feeling.

Even before we got to class this morning on our sawngtaw there was a moment when the driver made a wrong turn.

"Wait a minute..." I said snapping my head in the other direction.  "Weren't we supposed to go the other way?"

"The driver surely knows how to get to where we need to go."  Someone snapped, but sure enough, a little way down the road, we turned all of the way around and went the way I thought we had to go in the first place.

This is huge progress!  I can't stress enough how delightful it is to not feel like a lost sheep all the time, getting merely carted from place to place.  Apart from the deep satisfaction, there is also a economic element to knowing how to get around on your own.  Most everywhere you go in the whole world there exists for you the safety net of a taxi, or in this case a tuktuk (if you'll remember, this is what we hired to take us home from the Khao San market we went to in Bangkok).  When you are hopelessly, tearfully lost you can always flag one of these guys down and beg them to magically understand your English directions.  That's worst case scenario because if you're alone, or even if there are only a few of you, that option is not usually a cheap one.  When you can walk everywhere or you at least recognize landmarks, you're in such a safer, happier place.  I'm halfway there now in Hua Hin, mere weeks before I leave to go learn somewhere else!

The weekend before last, we went to the Phraya Nakhon Cave.  It was a super beautiful but surprisingly difficult hike.  We were up and down on the side of a mountain, with a beautiful view of the ocean when we got to the beach.  My first thought (and I immediately shared it with my group members) was, "That wasn't so bad!"  But, the thing about assuming is how you make yourself look and sure enough, no sooner had I spoken the words before we arrived to the last leg of the hike.  Let's just say our necks hurt from looking up.

View from the first leg of the journey overlooking the ocean.  Me and Tara.

It turns out the key to trudging along is stubbornly focusing on the step you are actively taking instead of giving in and peeking at what is to come.  Good metaphor for life you could say, but bottom line you gotta eat the whale one bite at a time.

When we arrived to the shrine in the cave I was so glad we did, and not just cause at this point I don't know how I'd produced so much sweat or how my legs could keep going after having been so sedentary for the weeks leading up to this.  When we got there the first thing that I thought this time was, "Well, that was worth it."  Just like before I didn't keep it to myself and everyone around me nodded in awed agreement.  It was one of the most beautiful but surprising placed I'd ever seen.  Imagine a giant cave with a sky light that made room for a perfect little microcosm to grow underneath.  I just usually think of the inside of caves as being cold and dark and, well, generally void of life.  This one was not.

Inside the cave!  Look at all that green. 

Me, Dominicque (my awesome opossum roommate), and Emily in front of the shrine.

There has been so much to do during the TESOL course we are taking.  Let me just say it's not just elephants and puppies since we finished orientation week.  We have written so many overnight lesson plans and next week we will have a chance to teach real lessons in front of real kids at the "camp."  I'm excited and just feel kind of ready to get started.  That being said, camp is supposed to be one of the most frightening reality checks of a the whole ESL Teaching Overseas experience and come the moment I will probably be singing a completely different tune.  Either way, I have about a week to prepare and I'm sure I'll have some crazy kid stories when I do.

Even Google Dons Black

The Thai king gained his fame by saving Thailand from communism in the 70s and then personally visiting poor villages all over the country in order to figure out how best to provide aid, be it hospital or school building or simply boosting their economies.  He was known for his curious spirit and open-mindedness.  Mere days after we learned all about him, getting lesson after lesson on his demigod-like status to the Thai people, he died and we got the biggest, most meaningful lesson of all. Everything changed overnight.  Everyone wears black now and cries at the drop of a hat.  We also wear black and will have to do so "for the foreseeable future."

Let me just clarify something that may not be completely apparent to everyone.  Thailand is hot.  I've been to East Africa and I can still say with full certainty that I have never been somewhere as hot as Thailand.  So wearing black is like falling through the cracks of the oven you already live in and curling up atop the hot coals.  I've never sweated so much.  I've never drank so much water just to pee so little.  When the fan is twisting away from me to keep the air circulating in the room, it suddenly and mercilessly becomes harder to breathe.  I feel dizzy and my head hurts.  Then the air comes back towards me and I am rewarded a slight moment of relief only to be thrown back in the torture of heat.

I wish the King hadn't died.  I wish he was still alive, but not just because I feel like Morticia, not because we had to go shopping for black clothes yesterday and while they weren't hard to find (every mannequin for miles had on her best mourning garb) the prices were jacked through the roof.  I genuinely liked the Thailand that the king created and the good spirits everyone had when he was alive.  It hasn't been long enough to see the real change in the world, I just know that this is a loss felt by everyone, and we furungs are not immune.  Yes, we are apart of something incredibly unique and culturally meaningful, but we never got to experience the "real Thailand" that existed for the past 70 years.  If the king was everyone's father, living without him from now on is going to be a real struggle and interesting challenge for everyone.

The night after he died, there was a large gathering in front of the royal palace in Hua Hin.  There, hundreds if not thousands of people gathered to show their respects.  As soon as we approached the growing conglomeration, we were handed yellow candles (there was even symbolism in the color) and soon enough all of us were holding bare, lit sticks, subjecting our fingers carelessly to molten wax.  The mere act of sharing fire around the group with strangers, friends, and family alike made for a successful bonding experience, but what really tightened the knot was the singing.  When it became clear that everyone had a lit candle, the speakers crackled to life and a beautiful Thai melody commenced, to which everyone joined in somberly.  I was a little stunned by the unity of it all and if that wasn't enough to make me a little teary, the break down of everyone around me surely was.  I've only known for about a month that this man existed and yet it took so littler for me to be moved by how his people loved and respected him.

Afterwards, we all blobbed to the front under a shrine with a giant poster of the king to leave our candles.  One of the bleary-eyed ladies who was standing next to us, sweetly corralled us forwards, nodding politely and saying in amazing English, "Now we move forward..."  I hope she appreciated our presence, acknowledging our attempt to conform and show our own respects.  Whether she did or not, she made me feel welcome and not so out of place.  Her words stick with me now, while at the time I just took them at face value.  "We move forward."  Yes, yes we do.

During one of my classes I was a good little student and decided to draw the king instead of pay attention... sometimes I just gotta be artistically stimulated.